the samurai: a conversation with Linda M. Crate

They say to let go of your past, but I think that this is a mistake.

Sometimes the past tethers you on the right path for your future.

The word ‘samurai’ can loosely be translated into meaning “those who serve.” In Linda M. Crate’s soon to be released chapbook, the samurai, illustrated by Ann Marie Sekeres (annmarieprojects.com), this interpretation is especially pertinent as her collection of poems stems from a dream in which a samurai appeared and inspired her to heal from past experiences to activate her full potential. Linda’s upcoming Yellow Arrow Publishing chapbook about rebirth, past lives, and learning from experience is now available for PRESALE and will be released October 2020.

A Yellow Arrow editorial associate, Siobhan McKenna, interviewed Linda about the samurai, reading messages from our dreams, and learning to choose how we move forward after darkness threatens to saturate our lives.

YAP: The basis of this chapbook came from a vivid dream you had, could you speak a little more about that? 

When I have dreams, most of them I remember in bits of pieces, but I don’t really remember them very well. But the [samurai] in [this] dream was very quiet and subtle—she had a presence. I’ve [even] had a few daydreams about the figure from this book. She is very prominent when I see her in my dreams, but the one dream I had at first was just the one where she’s fighting for her emperor—the ruler of her country—and ends up falling off the roof. The dream was terrifying because I felt the falling [of the samurai] and it triggered something. I woke up scared and had to remind myself that I wasn’t falling off a building. It was very lifelike and it felt like it was happening to me in the moment. 

YAP: Why do you believe you were having these dreams?

I believe that we have past lives. I didn’t always believe that, which I talk a little bit about in the chapbook. And when a fellow student at school mentioned a past life, I thought, eh, I don’t know about that, but this dream was so powerful and she was so prominent that I thought, well you know maybe there is something to that. Because why else would I be having a dream about somebody who is so different from me and [had] a very different life? Now, sometimes [dreams] are just your subconscious babbling but sometimes they are messages.

YAP: What made you want to turn this dream into a collection of poems? 

I thought that I needed to honor [the samurai]. I felt like I needed to put down in words what happened in my dream and make it more of a reality—I wanted to share my experience. And I feel like there are unexplainable things in life and connections that we don’t really understand, and I feel like our past lives could be key to parts of our personality.

YAP: Why did you think the format of a series of poems rather than a short story served this dream better?

I think that with a short story you start at one point and then end up at another and what you originally set out to write isn’t always what comes out in the end, but you can get some of the concepts that you want in there. But ultimately, the characters take the reigns and make it theirs—at least mine do—mine are very vocal. So I thought I’m going to sit down and write this and see if this works. And I feel like as a cohesive form, [a series of poems] did work as a stream of consciousness [for me to convey] what I needed to say. 

YAP: Zen Buddhism, introduced into Japan from China, held a great appeal for many samurai and in Zen Buddhism, there is a belief that salvation comes from within, which is a prominent theme in your chapbook. Did you think about this belief system as you were writing?

Oh very much so—I’m very Zen! In college, I took a lot of theology courses because I wanted to know what other cultures believed in. I wanted to know more about what people believed and why people are the way they are. I’m also very connected to nature, and I feel like we have to save ourselves. As much as we like the hero to save us, sometimes we have to be our own hero because there isn’t always going to be someone there for you. Unfortunately, people have let me down a lot in my life, and I’ve had to rely on myself. And in a way it’s sad, but I’m glad I’m this way because it [has made] me stronger. 

YAP: Historically, samurai were mainly men, and female warriors were known by a different name [Onna-bugeisha]. Did you research more about Japanese culture after dreaming about the samurai woman and how did you navigate using this traditionally masculine term? 

I did. I feel like [the term] samurai just captured how I felt about her and how she felt about herself. I know there is a different term, but why does it have to be that way? Why does it have to be that the man gets more recognition than the woman? Why does the woman have to be lower than a man? It was very important for me to place [the women in my dream] on equal footing, and I knew people were more familiar with samurai. It’s important to have a term that people understood. Some people might have found it interesting [to use the female term] while other people would’ve said, “I don’t know what that is.” A lot of people do their research, but then there’s others who just want something to read that they can relate to or are intrigued by. 

YAP: In this chapbook, there is a theme of choosing “tranquility and places of hope” such as in the poem, “the kindest moonlight.” Do you think we have a choice when it comes to focusing on the light versus dark in our lives?

Oh, absolutely. I mean no one chooses to go through dark periods and dark phases, but I feel like there is always that little glint of hope, that little horizon, that light at the end of the tunnel. And I think if you try to focus your sight on your future and getting out of the present darkness—that’s a lot easier. If you dwell on the darkness, the bad times, the bad things, you’re going to feel like there’s anger dragging you down because there’s no hope. And I’ve never wanted to live in a world without hope. I’m the eternal optimist I guess. The one that’s always going to push forward; always going to believe that we can achieve better things and better worlds. You can’t choose if you have a mental illness or somebody dying, but you can choose to either dwell or choose to overcome. My mom told me when I was younger that you have two choices: you can be a victim or a survivor. So I’ve always chosen to be a survivor because I refuse to be in that vulnerable place where nothing can be better than this right now. 

YAP: What are your thoughts on the cover image and how your chapbook is represented at first glance?

I absolutely adore the cover image. I think it's a good representation of my dream and of the content in the chapbook. I also love that the exterior has butterflies as they're representative of the idea of rebirth and reincarnation, which are also themes that I cover in the chapbook. I think the idea of connections [to the] past and present is nicely conveyed here. I really appreciate the time and input each of the editors took in trying to help me polish my book. I'm also thankful that Anne Marie was so receptive to my ideas and curious to understand the chapbook and the ideas that were in it. I think that's what makes the illustrations work so flawlessly with my words.

YAP: I know the interior images haven’t been released yet, but how do you think they relate to the themes in your book?

I think [the woman] is a good depiction of the strength and ferocity of a warrior—she also has that schooled face which doesn't betray her emotions, which is something that I touch upon in the chapbook. I think the interior [images work] well with not only the title, but my depiction of the woman in my dream.

YAP: In your profession, you write a great deal of fiction, how do you find the process of writing fiction versus poetry different and/or similar?

It’s different in that with poetry you can talk about yourself and anybody else in your life or situation. But when I’m working on novels or short stories usually a character comes to me and I build around a theme until it develops into something else. And they’re similar in a way because it is a process and it doesn’t always come out right the first time so you have to think [about] what works and what doesn’t work and go from there. But to me, it depends on the day and what I’m feeling—what mood I’m in. Sometimes I feel like writing more fiction and then there’s other days when poetry is what comes more naturally. It’s funny because people ask, “How do you decide?” and it’s just my mind has a switch and whatever the switch says is what we go with.

YAP: In the past, you have published with Yellow Arrow, why did you choose to publish with us again?

I always like them and their philosophy. I’ve always felt that they are very respectful of my work and me. I usually write darker themes and writing [for Yellow Arrow] allowed me to focus on something positive and [the samurai] is a pretty positive figure in my life so I wanted to see what I could come up with. It was a different experience for me and it’s good to challenge [myself] once in a while so that’s what I did.

YAP: What do you hope people take from the chapbook?

We can learn from the past, but our lives aren’t set in stone. If you are going through something negative in your life, it can get better. And sometimes you need to listen to that little voice inside your head that keeps telling you to go forward because it’s important to follow your dreams, to have hope, and begin again. As painful as it is to lose your old self, you have to in order to grow.

*****

Every writer has a story to tell and every story is worth telling. Thank you Linda and Siobhan for such an insightful conversation. Yellow Arrow Publishing is a nonprofit supporting women writers through publication and access to the literary arts.