My hands have deep scars, they are the map keepers
The wolf will be here soon
I will meet you at the bottom of the sky
“Almost Alive”
Julie Alden Cullinane is not one to shy away from the complex and chaotic aspects of life. In fact, she readily writes about all manner of topics, from the mucky to the moving. Cullinane is a neurodivergent poet, author, and mom in Boston whose work is a must read for those who appreciate an honest voice that aptly balances the humorous, the serious, and all the circadian in-betweens of the female experience. Cullinane’s debut hybrid chapbook Ghosts Only I Can See will be published by Yellow Arrow Publishing in October 2024. Today, we are excited to introduce Cullinane along with the provocative cover of Ghosts Only I Can See. Reserve your copy at yellowarrowpublishing.com/store/ghosts-only-i-can-see-paperback and make sure to leave some love for Cullinane here or on social media.
Ghosts Only I Can See peeks back in time to Cullinane’s younger self and the ghosts through time that until now, only she could see. It focuses not on literal ghosts, but the ghosts—the shells—of her former self. With this hauntingly woven collection of creative nonfiction and poetry, Cullinane shares these ghosts and the painful, powerful, and wonderful experiences that made her the woman she is today. After raising a family and working for many years as a young mom, she was able to return to her graduate studies later in life and earned her master’s in 2021. Under the guidance of many amazing and supportive female professors, Cullinane began submitting her work for publication.
Her latest work, Ghosts Only I Can See, wields Cullinane’s story to encourage readers to look into the past, present, and future of all women’s lives. Growing up with many resilient and strong women, Cullinane was an avid spectator of their lives, their passions, and their trauma as she found her own way through the world. As she grew older and decided to grasp her ghosts even closer, Cullinane truly began to understand the tender weaving of women’s lives and their multitude of shared experiences—both of which often remain invisible today because of collective shame, individual shame, and the pressures of perfection.
The desire to make visible the invisible underlies Ghosts Only I Can See, combining reflection on the universal and intimate experiences of womanhood with the wisdom that comes from confronting and embracing the specters of self: past, present, and future. Melissa Nunez, Yellow Arrow interviewer, and Cullinane engaged in conversation over Zoom where they discussed the creative inspirations behind this collection and embracing the messiness that comes with being human.
Can you share some women-identified writers who inspire you?
Anne Enright is probably my favorite writer. She writes in French, and her translations are always beautiful, lending the language more artistry. Sylvia Plath is my favorite poet. Those two are the big ones for me. For modern writers, Maggie Smith is a huge inspiration. I’ve read her past three books. Her hybrid book, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, was a great inspiration for my chapbook. Her poetry and short stories, especially after her divorce, have been very influential.
How did you connect with Yellow Arrow? What made you decide to submit your chapbook?
I first came across Yellow Arrow in grad school. One of our assignments was to seek out publishers who would be a good fit for our chapbooks. I read Yellow Arrow’s intro about women-identified writers and how important their stories are, and it felt like the perfect place for my work. I felt strongly about sending it there because my book is so female-centric. It felt like kismet.
Can you talk a little bit about the process of cover design and what vibe you are going for?
I have been thinking about the cover of this book since the moment I found out it was going to be published. I have fantasized for almost a year. As a writer and visual artist, the cover meant as much to me as the words, and I wanted it to be something symbolic but also artistic. I found it fascinating that the graphic designer [and Yellow Arrow creative director] Alexa [Laharty] is in Berlin. It gave me a cool international feel, this woman being out there in the world with my pages thinking about it with an artistic sense. I went to college originally for fine art and hoped I hadn’t lost my touch because I haven’t painted in so long. I also love photography. The original idea that I sent to Alexa was very rock ‘n’ roll. I pictured this uber-cool woman sitting on a toilet seat smoking a cigarette with expensive sunglasses on.
Some main themes in this book are visualized by toilets, women in the bathroom, reminiscent of all the fluids that come about in being a woman, then connecting to themes of water, birth, and death. I took photos with a sheet over my head as a ghost, playing with how to portray these ghosts throughout my life. My niece is three years old, and she looks just like me. I was playing with the idea of maybe taking pictures of her, taking pictures of me, melding them together with the faces blurred out, it just wasn’t happening. Surprisingly, it was my husband who suggested taking pictures in our barn, which looks very rural America. I know ghosts can be cliché, so I wanted the idea of ghosts to not be too Halloween. I also wanted to make sure the American flag made its way into the photo because this book is very much about being an American woman. The photos came out beautifully, capturing isolation and Americana vibes with an old western feel but also modern. I couldn’t be happier with the image I selected. Right down to the sunglasses. I hope everyone loves it as much as I do.
I love the hybrid nature of this chapbook. Can you talk about your decision to write in both genres, poetry and prose?
My first writing was poetry. I started writing poems when I was 7–8 years old and was also a big journal writer. I encourage young writers to journal. I have four fiction novels I have been working on that are almost finished. But this chapbook came together more easily and quickly than anything else, partly because I was finishing graduate school when I wrote it. It started as my thesis, but it ended up turning into something else. Many of my assignments shaped into this chapbook without me realizing it. One of my professors encouraged me to submit it to indie presses. When I put the collection together, I realized there was a theme. I didn’t realize how much I had written about my childhood until I put it together. I’ve been rushing through life trying to get through school, trying to get all my work done and taking care of my family. It has been a goal of mine to write a book since I was old enough to think, so it just felt like the culmination of all my studies, graduate school, being an adult. It just really kind of created itself and it felt like closing out that chapter in my life.
I put the rest of the pearls into a velvet bag and put them in my underwear drawer where no one will find them. I keep them safe to dispose of at will, when I can’t breathe under the weight of my ancestors. When I need to slay ghosts.
“Beheading Pearls”
Can you talk about the title, Ghosts Only I Can See? I love the mystery and the nod to mental health awareness. How important is that theme for your writing?
I wanted the title to be about women throughout their life stages. I played with the idea of ghosts and mental health. A woman turns into so many different people in her life. When I look back at my teenage self, it feels like another whole person. It’s almost like a birth and a death as we grow and change. I really wanted the title to speak to this concept. The title reflects the ghosts of your past selves.
You mentioned planning the cover design in relation to the messiness of femininity. I love how you embrace the messiness of humanity and femininity, both emotionally and physically in your writing. Can you expand on the necessity of this kind of honesty?
I grew up with five women, all my sisters are like nine months apart, and we went through school and puberty—just everything together. I remember reading books about women very young (Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women, for example) and realizing I wasn’t the only one thinking certain things. I wanted to tell stories that people think are too much or too raw. I had the story “Red Line” published in Underscore_Magazine and received many supportive emails from women. It may seem gross or disgusting to some, but it’s important to take off the masks and show the messiness of being a woman. People expect so much, and not everyone realizes what’s going on in a woman’s mind and body at any given moment. It’s so hard to hold it all together. The more I can get those stories out and have people read them, the more I can inspire other writers to do so as well.
Do you have any self-care rituals, personally or as a writer?
I’m much better at self-care now than in my 20s and 30s. Therapy saved my life. I regularly get massages because I have high anxiety and ADHD. I like to walk and enjoy alone time. My family knows not to disturb me when I need to read or write. My doctor prescribed me a dog 10 years ago, and he’s helped me with emotional regulation. He brings my body back to center and is part of my self-care ritual. It’s my favorite thing to read a great new novel, drink coffee, and sit with the dog on a Sunday morning.
I really like the way you included “How to Feel a Poem” at the end of your collection. What led you to write this piece and why did you put it where you did?
I struggled with putting this poem last because I love it so much. I think it’s one of my favorites, but it didn’t get any love. I tried to publish this poem. I sent it everywhere. I gave it to one of my graduate instructors who had a lukewarm reception to it. So, I wasn’t sure, but I really felt strongly about ending it with that. It’s inspired by writing things on my bedroom wall in high school with colored sharpies. I would hear a line of poetry at school or in something I was reading and I would go home and put that line on my wall. It looked like horrible graffiti all over my bedroom. Technically this is a poem, but it started out as an instruction manual, that’s how I framed it in my mind at first. It’s very much about the words but more so the actions within it. I visualized being in my childhood bedroom, hiding under the sheets, and hearing Bruce Springsteen for the first time. To me, those are all actions of poetry. Poetry is not just the study of elevated language; it’s finding beauty in the world and putting it onto the page.
His words are like hands that reach down my throat and hold my lungs in a fist. Sound is touching all the yuck that cannot be spoken that I have stored in my belly.
“How to Feel a Poem: Instructions”
Do you have any advice for fellow women writers?
As I mentioned earlier, I recommend for everyone to journal, and journal honestly. I’ve been blessed with a supportive writer’s group formed with some of my fellow graduate students who still meet to this day. I am grateful for their support. Share your work with friends and send it out. The worst they can do is say no. But writing is cathartic and personal. Write for you. I write every day and keep notes on napkins and receipts. I compile them into poems or stories. Don’t be afraid to write things down and share them.
Do you have any new projects in the works that you'd like to share with our readers?
Yes, I’m writing a novel titled The Price of Land. It’s my first fiction piece, set in the future, and very different from anything I’ve written to date. While my chapbook deals with feminist politics, this novel deals with the politics of economy. It takes place in 2060 and deals with the rising cost of land and how Americans navigate and survive that world. I’m looking for an agent and hope to finish it soon. It’s been a long-time goal to write and publish a novel.
You can order your copy of Ghosts Only I Can See from Yellow Arrow Publishing at yellowarrowpublishing.com/store/ghosts-only-i-can-see-paperback and find out more about Cullinane and follow her publication news at julie.wildinkpages.com/poetry or on Instagram or Threads @HerLoudMind and Twitter of BlueSky @AldenCullinane. Ghosts Only I Can See will be released in October 2024.
Julie Alden Cullinane is a neurodivergent poet, author, and mom in Boston. Her first publication was a poem in The Boston Globe at age eight; she has been writing ever since. After raising a family and working for many years as a young mom, she was able to return to her graduate studies later in life and earned her master’s in 2021. Under the guidance of many amazing and supportive female professors, she began submitting her work for publication. She has published poems and short stories in 20+ literary magazines since 2020. She works in academia full time when she is not writing. Julie’s focus of writing is often on the untold seasons and shades of a woman’s life. She loves to highlight the dichotomy of the modern pressures on women and mothers, between having a successful career and an expected perfect domestic life. When she is not writing she enjoys long naps on the couch with her beloved dog. She is currently knee-deep in a midlife crisis. It takes up all her time. She will definitely be writing about it.
Melissa Nunez makes her home in the Rio Grande Valley region of south Texas, where she enjoys exploring and photographing the local wild with her homeschooling family. She writes an anime column at The Daily Drunk Mag and is a prose reader for Moss Puppy Mag. She is also a staff writer for Alebrijes Review and an interviewer for Yellow Arrow Publishing. You can find her work on her website melissaknunez.com and follow her on Twitter @MelissaKNunez.
*****
Yellow Arrow Publishing is a nonprofit supporting women-identifying writers through publication and access to the literary arts. You can support us as we AMPLIFY women-identifying creatives this year by purchasing one of our publications or a workshop from the Yellow Arrow bookstore, for yourself or as a gift, joining our newsletter, following us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, or subscribing to our YouTube channel. Donations are appreciated via PayPal (staff@yellowarrowpublishing.com), Venmo (@yellowarrowpublishing), or US mail (PO Box 65185, Baltimore, Maryland 21209). More than anything, messages of support through any one of our channels are greatly appreciated.